不怕，我只是想给你一个拥抱。。。。。
2011情人节幽默搞笑短信大全
如果我是亿万富翁，我就要把全世界的玫瑰都买下来送给你。我是富翁吗？不是，所以只能发条短信祝福你：朋友，情人节快乐。
有两句话一直很想对你说，在这个特别地日子里终于提起勇气：第一句，我爱你我好喜欢你;第二句，千万不要把第一句当真。情人节快乐。
情人节是一个美丽的日子。我没有惊天动地的爱情宣言，也没有海枯石烂的爱情承诺。我只想告诉你：我比上一秒钟更爱你！情人节快乐！
情人节让我对你有无限思念。将心泊在彩云升起的港湾，偷偷把幸福刻在你的心间，用一缕爱的丝线，将你我紧紧绑在岁月变迁的终点。
...我在床上等火车，你信吗？
小偷搞笑更疯狂
第一次，我下夜班回家，已经很晚了，我在卫生间洗嗽，忽然听到门口有动静。好像是有人在门口撬我的锁。于是我大喝一声：“谁，干什么？”谁知道那贼却在门口答道：这么晚了还不睡觉，搞什么搞。说完就没有声音了。我一时不知所措……
第二次，我白天在家休息，正在上网的时候，忽然听到厨房有声音传过来，我轻轻地走过去一看，原来是个小偷撬我的防盗门窗。我抽出一把菜刀走过去对他说：“你要干什么，再不走我就报警。”那贼不慌不忙地收起工具，然后对我甩出一句话：“你有病呀，家里有人，做个声呀！害的老子白忙活了半天。”说罢转身走了。我哭笑不得……
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能不能不要装可爱,一些可爱搞笑图
收集了一些看了让人受不了的可爱图片，我只能说：求你啦！能不能不要装可爱，否则我要变成和你一样的图片。甚至，你可以用来做你的头像，绝对的可爱。MM们不妨试试。
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计算机学生的请假条（搞笑）
昨日，我恨未能将你于课堂之上传授的网络知识克隆于心中，于放学后在未增加内存（饭）的情况下，急赴校园外某网吧寻找历史记录。怎料天色突变，风雨大作。因我硬件（身体）防毒能力较差，加之身上加载的外壳（衣服）少，不幸被GM（感冒）病毒抓住了漏洞。
顿时出现了扫描仪（眼睛） 花、CPU（脑袋）疼痛、显示器（脸）变色等症状。原本以为经过关机（睡
周杰伦恶搞小沈阳
武林外传搞笑语录英汉对照
各回各家，各找各妈
Go back home, and find your mom.
老虎不发威，你当我是HELLO KITTY
Tiger doesn't get angry, you think it's HELLO KITTY
额服了you,额尊敬you,额的内心崇拜you
I admire you, I respect you, I really adore you.
我看好你哟~
I really think you're nice~~~~
饿错了,呃真滴错咧，饿从一开始就错列~当初饿就不该嫁过来,如果不嫁过来饿的夫君就不会死,饿的夫君不会死,饿 就不会沦落到这么一个伤心的地方
I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't married here, if I didn't marry here my husband will never die. If my husband didn't die, I'll never in this heartrending place now.
姓嘛？叫嘛？打哪来？往哪去？家里几口人？人均几亩地？地里几头牛？说说说。。。
What's you name? What's you first name? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in you house? How many units of cropland per person has? How many cattles in the cropland? Answer! Answer it!
额滴神啊！
Oh my god!(OMG)
亲娘哎！
Oh my mom!
排山倒海
Remove Mountains
葵花点穴手
Sunflower point points hand (注明：第一个point是 点到、指到 的意思、第二个 points 是穴位的意思)
子曾经曰过
A sage said that... 或者是 Confucius said that...
放着我来
Wait! I'll do it!
嫂子~~~~~~~~~
Elder brother's wife~~~~~~~~~~
帮我照顾好我七舅姥爷和他的三外甥女
Help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece
我祝你们白头偕老，断子绝孙
I bless you that live to old age in conjugal bliss and die without sons
世界如此美妙 我却如此暴躁 这样不好，不好
The wrold is that sweetness, but I'm this testiness, it's not good, not good
放心！这事全包我身上了
Take it easy, I'll do all the things
确定一定以及肯定
I confirm, ensure and make certain that
否决否认以及否定
I deny, disaffirm and disavow that
嘘！嘘！嘘！低调！低调！都低调！
Sh! Sh! Shhh! Be low-pitched, be low-pitched. All be low-pitched
我最后一次警告你啊 请使用人类的语言和我交谈
This is the last warning! Please speak humans language to me!
你杂这样子嘛!什么时候睡觉不好,非得晚上睡啊
Why did you do this? How come you must sleep in the night?
我上头有人
There have people above me
你无情无耻无理取闹
You are unkind, cheeky and out of all reason
我的神啊上帝啊以及老天爷啊
Oh my god, lord and providence!
我就象一只爬在玻璃上苍蝇，前途一片光明，就是找不到出路
I'm like the fly which is climbing on the glass, the sunshine is in front of me, but i just cannot find out the outlet
一山不能容二虎,除非一公和一母
There won't have two tigers inone place, unless they're male and female.
Go back home, and find your mom.
老虎不发威，你当我是HELLO KITTY
Tiger doesn't get angry, you think it's HELLO KITTY
额服了you,额尊敬you,额的内心崇拜you
I admire you, I respect you, I really adore you.
我看好你哟~
I really think you're nice~~~~
饿错了,呃真滴错咧，饿从一开始就错列~当初饿就不该嫁过来,如果不嫁过来饿的夫君就不会死,饿的夫君不会死,饿 就不会沦落到这么一个伤心的地方
I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't married here, if I didn't marry here my husband will never die. If my husband didn't die, I'll never in this heartrending place now.
姓嘛？叫嘛？打哪来？往哪去？家里几口人？人均几亩地？地里几头牛？说说说。。。
What's you name? What's you first name? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in you house? How many units of cropland per person has? How many cattles in the cropland? Answer! Answer it!
额滴神啊！
Oh my god!(OMG)
亲娘哎！
Oh my mom!
排山倒海
Remove Mountains
葵花点穴手
Sunflower point points hand (注明：第一个point是 点到、指到 的意思、第二个 points 是穴位的意思)
子曾经曰过
A sage said that... 或者是 Confucius said that...
放着我来
Wait! I'll do it!
嫂子~~~~~~~~~
Elder brother's wife~~~~~~~~~~
帮我照顾好我七舅姥爷和他的三外甥女
Help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece
我祝你们白头偕老，断子绝孙
I bless you that live to old age in conjugal bliss and die without sons
世界如此美妙 我却如此暴躁 这样不好，不好
The wrold is that sweetness, but I'm this testiness, it's not good, not good
放心！这事全包我身上了
Take it easy, I'll do all the things
确定一定以及肯定
I confirm, ensure and make certain that
否决否认以及否定
I deny, disaffirm and disavow that
嘘！嘘！嘘！低调！低调！都低调！
Sh! Sh! Shhh! Be low-pitched, be low-pitched. All be low-pitched
我最后一次警告你啊 请使用人类的语言和我交谈
This is the last warning! Please speak humans language to me!
你杂这样子嘛!什么时候睡觉不好,非得晚上睡啊
Why did you do this? How come you must sleep in the night?
我上头有人
There have people above me
你无情无耻无理取闹
You are unkind, cheeky and out of all reason
我的神啊上帝啊以及老天爷啊
Oh my god, lord and providence!
我就象一只爬在玻璃上苍蝇，前途一片光明，就是找不到出路
I'm like the fly which is climbing on the glass, the sunshine is in front of me, but i just cannot find out the outlet
一山不能容二虎,除非一公和一母
There won't have two tigers inone place, unless they're male and female.